When the Israelites were on their Exodus out of Egypt, they logically worried if they would have food along the way. God told them that He would supply, and that He would do it daily. He would send manna to the people fresh every day. Their instruction was to finish what they were given by the end of each day; to save no food. This would they would have to trust that after finishing their meal today, they would again by met by God with new provision the next. Of course this meant full reliance on God. It was an instruction of total trust. It required them to live only in the present, while leaning on God for tomorrow. And God always did supply as they trusted Him to do so.

I also think of Jesus as a prime example of living in the present. If I were Him, knowing that I would die a horrible death, I would worry and be upset about it for months, maybe years on end! I probably wouldn’t even have been able to do all the work I was meant to do prior to that, out of sheer exhaustion from mental anguish. But Jesus did it all so well. He was never absent from the present and living in a mental future, even though He knew what was to come and what it would be like. He was fully present, ready to use every day and make each hour count. Even a few days before His death He rode out on a donkey and celebrated with the people. Only the night before did He get deeply bothered in His soul, and then He brought His heart to God, where an angel came and “strengthened Him” (Luke 22:43). But I just think to myself, if Jesus did it and He lives in me, perhaps there is much more of this present living that I am able to do too.

As difficult as it can be, we are meant to live in today. We are meant to use every chance to reach people, to love others and to enjoy life. Just as God gave manna to His people in the day they were in, just as He strengthened Jesus the night before (and I am sure that very day) so He gives us grace and help in the day we are presently in. And we must trust His provision, whether it be basic needs or emotional help, will come when needed. God does not want us to worry about tomorrow, nor believe that He will not provide for us on that day. Even Moses must have worried a great deal about what he would say to Pharaoh when asking to free the Israelites. But God told him that at that time He would give him the words.

It might seem scary that we can’t prepare. But if we know just how much God is with us, it is wonderfully freeing to know that we don’t have to. We can live today and live it to its fullest because we are fully present. And when that future day comes, God will grant us a peace and ability that will in fact be there. When we trust in that, we can rest now. When we open hearts to faith, God can start blessing us with His peace today. May we ask for the faith we need. And holding close the reliable love of God, choose to surrender to His goodness.

My Prayer...

Dear Lord, you know how hard it can be to rest in faith. We are so naturally inclined to worry about what is ahead, and we are sorry that we often do not trust you to take care of us. Thank you for your gracious understanding toward us. Please empower us by your Spirit to rest in trust. Enable us to see you as you are…as someone we can lean on and someone who will in fact, totally take care of us. Give us what we need to unclench our hands and let you work through us with your peace. In Jesus name, Amen.

By Jade Mazarin, M.A., BCCC | Christian Counselor

We all have different reasons for wanting to be understood. But many of them are similar. And so I share my own situation because I know that many others feel the way I have. For me, I realize that the one big reason I have wanted others to understand me is I wanted approval and validation. I wanted a sense that they don’t blame me for what I am experiencing, they know that it is typical (as I know it is), they fully accept it and they still think well of me. Simply, I have had a need for approval. When I faced that fact, I was amazed and quite bothered, actually. I didn’t realize that I wanted others’ approval so much. I thought I was a rather confident person. I didn’t know that there have been holes in my self-esteem that I have looked to fill with others’ opinions. But apparently that has been the case.

The truth is, many of us are looking for the approval of those closest to us on some level or another. And often this is disguised by the desire to have someone understand what we are talking about or going through, anything important to us about ourselves. I always thought I just wanted them to “get it.” In reality, I wanted them to get it so that they would be okay with me.

Let’s take another example. I was once dealing with a bad physical illness but it was not being diagnosed by doctors. I felt afraid that those around me would think it wasn’t so bad and I was imagining it. And I was very upset when they would get frustrated with me for my fatigue when I couldn’t stop it myself and was trying everything. I began doing research online and explaining to my loved ones what i was finding that I knew was applicable. But sometimes they would believe what I knew, and sometimes they wouldn’t, no matter how I explained it….

I realized that I needed to begin changing this focus on other people in order to feel peace in myself. And I knew that I had to begin letting myself know that I am my own person, and if I know something myself, that is enough.

Somewhere along the journey of our lives, people like me have learned that other people’s opinion matters a great deal. And we are only safe if we are watching out for what they think. We are responsible for their thoughts and we are affected deeply by their thoughts about us. Then we carry a great burden of trying to live up to others expectations, fearful we are not doing that very thing, and eager to prove our worth to those closest to us. It’s no fun.

So what do you do about it? If you have never looked at what you are doing and considered why you are doing it, start there as I did.

You can be honest with yourself because there is nothing to be ashamed or even embarrassed about. We do what we do because we have learned it, usually when we were young at a time when all people are influenced by their surroundings and life experiences. It is a common thing to care too much about others thoughts of us, and given our past it often makes sense. So don’t be hard on yourself about it for a moment. Just acknowledge that it is there so you can move forward and feel better.

Then once you are facing these truths, tend to yourself. As I just said, tell yourself it is okay and understandable and your purpose for change is not to make yourself a better person, but to discover the freedom and peace that can be yours. Often we have felt injured when others don’t get us, so it is important to be kind and loving to yourself now. That is what gets us unstuck. Focusing on negatives is totally counterproductive. Begin approving of yourself. Now consider and meditate on these points..

1. Accept and take a breather

Our need for approval and desire to be understood usually feels rushed; especially in a moment we are trying to prove ourselves. We don’t pause to consider the thought of letting the point go, we just let the current of needy feelings overtake us and make us more intent to prove our point. Instead, pause and take a breather. Whether in the moment, or when considering what has already happened in your situation, pause and allow yourself to consider another way of looking at it….

2. Talk to yourself positively

While aware of it or not, we are often talking to ourselves and saying we did good at that, bad at that, etc. And what we say to ourselves really impacts the way we feel. Tell yourself now, “You know what, it’s okay. It’s okay if he/she doesn’t get it the way I do. I am not impacted by what they think.” Did you hear that last part? That is the core of the matter. This person’s opinion has nothing to do with you….

3. Consider boundaries

The reason we don’t have to be affected by someone else is because we are individuals. Sometimes those of us who deal with these issues never fully realized the boundaries between us and others. In every way I am my own person, as you are your own person. Your opinion matters. Your own understanding is enough. You are not half of yourself and half of someone else. You are a totally unique person who sets the tone for your own life and feelings. And you are worth taking care of yourself. So many times I have said to myself, “what I know is enough”. The more we say it the more we can believe it.

4. Love and respect yourself

It is usually a journey for us to gain a deeper sense of self worth, but we can be glad to be walking that journey step by step. We can learn that no other person is worth more than we are. So no other person’s opinion is worth more than our own. We have nothing to prove to other people because what matters is simply that we approve of ourselves. And we can, fully. We can love ourselves knowing that we are loved deeply by God and have a real purpose for being born and living. We can love ourselves no matter our faults because every one of us is on a journey and we can learn good things from any bad habit. We can be kind to ourselves and if we need to separate ourselves from toxic things or people, we have the right to do that. Start from a place of love and self-respect and you will not need to look for it from other people.

5. Bare with other people

Often when something is so clear to us, we wonder why it is not clear to others. The truth is that they are not us, they have different experiences than us, they think differently, and that is okay. We are not all meant to be alike. Others do the best they know how, and sometimes we just need to be understanding and not expect so much when they may not have the capacity to give it. Accept that we are all coming from different viewpoints and abilities to understand and that is fine.

Those of us who have these tendencies, we can magnify things quite a bit. Sometimes when someone’s thoughts bother me, it helps a lot to say to myself, “You know what, it’s okay.” When I do that I kind of smile to myself, as if to brush it off my shoulder. It’s really not as big as it feels.

By Jade Mazarin, M.A., BCCC | Christian Counselor

We all deal with anxiety in our lives. How often have you wondered to yourself, “Why do I keep worrying when I know better?” … “Why can’t I let go when I know I am supposed to trust God?” A great majority of us have wondered these kinds of things over and over.

It all comes down to what we really believe. We may know that God will take care of us, but if only about 20% of our mind believes it and 80% of our mind thinks we have to save ourselves, protect others and/or keep ourselves safe, then worry will win out.

Specifically, we hold on to worry because we believe it:

• Prepares us for the worst. If we are prepared, we are safe.
• Enables us to figure things out; so we can know what to do.
• Gives us control. If we can figure it out, we can make things okay.

But now let’s look at the truth about worry. While many of us know that worry does not really accomplish the above, we still need to remind ourselves and meditate on what’s really going on when we worry, so that we can really “get” the fact that it’s not giving us what we look for. The truth is…

Worry does not protect us.

a) 85% of the time, what we are afraid of does not even happen. That is a lot of wasted energy for absolutely nothing.

b) We are totally drained mentally, emotionally and physically. Our perception is more negative, our heart is heavy and sad, and sometimes our body is so tired we can hardly do daily tasks. Clearly, we are not being protected.

c) When we are a mess emotionally and physically because of worry, we end up approaching future events with greater negativity and feelings of weakness. We are so worn down that we are more likely to feel greater stress from any future events, rather than being able to tackle them peacefully.

We can’t figure things out by worrying.

When we worry, we are actually fixating on a particular set of thoughts or mental picture and we feel stuck in it. Rather than being able to think clearly, our mind becomes more foggy and less creative. We feel paralyzed to some extent by these thoughts and unable to consider anything different. Chances are, if you have not been able to figure something out already, it is won’t accomplish anything to dwell on it now.

We won’t have control just because we expect what’s coming.

a) As said earlier, most of the time what we imagine won’t even happen. We also will never know every little thing that’s going to happen in our lives ahead of time. Never. Why try what we can’t do?

b) Our knowledge does not give us control. Nor does it impact anyone around us because we can’t decide for other people. It is actually our ability to rest that displays true control. It is being in the present. Because if we are not in the present, then mentally we are soaring somewhere else, essentially out of control. Real control is having peace.

……………………

Considering the above, it looks like we are all in trouble. If we can’t make things okay then how will we manage? This is the point where we shift our thinking. And we find the other part of the picture that ends up being very good news:

1. It is not our responsibility

This is key to understand. Did you know that it is not your job to take care of the big things? A child is not meant to take on the matters of her father. Nor is she meant to care for herself. That is her parent’s job. It is God’s job to take care of you. Why burden yourself when you are not meant to? Picture a 5 year old girl trying to drag her heavy suitcase around the airport, when her strong father is walking by her side. He looks at her with such care and attention, waiting to take it from her. But she refuses to give it to Him. Then when she considers it, she tries with all her might to take it back. It’s just not the way things should work.

2. We can accept not being in charge

Sometimes we really just don’t like not being in charge. We think we know best. We forget that God really loves us and knows how to accomplish good things for us and those we love. We think if we do something, that is the only way things will get done. So we overthink and worry and worry, believing deep down that we are accomplishing something from it. But we must consider these points: It is okay if we can’t control everything. It is okay if we can’t impact other’s decisions. We are our own people, in charge of ourselves. Even if we could do anything, we still would not know always what is best. And that is okay too. Mistakes are okay, they can lead to realizations and change. Control can lead to anger and more fear. It doesn’t all have to feel enormous to us.

3. God will take care of us and help our loved ones

The truth is that God created us to lean on Him. We are designed to depend on Him for our needs; that is why it doesn’t work trying to be independent. He is perfect in love, so He could never let us down. To think that He would not take proper care of us is like looking at the most loving parent and saying, “you won’t take care of your child.” Whether it feels that way or not, it is even more absurd to accuse God of that. God is serious about His promise to watch over us, provide for us, bless us and answer our prayers, because it is literally impossible for Him to ever lie. God lying would be like changing the nature of gravity. It just can’t happen. We must take Him at His words. Then as our faith grows, God is able to do even more wonderful things because of our belief.

God loves each of us personally, is more attentive to our every thought, than any person ever could be. And He cares for our loved ones so absolutely deeply, that His love for them far exceeds even our own. Will He not be faithful to help (especially when we petition Him to) when He desires it so much as well?

4. We CAN change and it is worth it

The great news is that no matter how long we have been habitual worriers, we can always change. New things are always possible. And it is God’s great desire, as it is your own. Ask Him to help you and open your hands that you may let go; to develop greater faith in Him. He will answer. We usually change over a period of time, letting go more often and more completely, as our lives progress. But it is our decision to start, and we must take seriously the movement to become free. If we really want the change, we’ll keep moving forward.

Yes, letting go is definitely worth it. This is something we must keep in mind because we need the motivation. And we choose to do things because we think it is helpful, what we want, etc. Remind yourself of the above reasons why worry doesn’t do what you want it to. And think of the better things that come from release…Feeling content, able to live in the present. Having more energy, feeling closer to God. Watching God do great things.

Think of how much you long to be free from worry, how pointless it really is, and how you can have the peace and safety you’ve needed.

Other Valuable Tips for Releasing Worry…

1. When stuck on worrisome thoughts, it helps to say outloud, “STOP.” Then say something different outloud that replaces your worry with truth; something like, “Be still and know that I am God.”
2. It helps to bring yourself to the present. Focus on what you physically feel in the moment your in (like the chair underneath you, etc), what you smell, etc. Embrace the moment. Also, be conscious and thankful for every little good thing you have.
3. Tell yourself, “everything will be okay.” Things aren’t as big as they feel. I have news, they really aren’t as big as you feel. Listen to facts, not feelings.
4. Take deep breaths and quiet yourself privately. Imagine your worries make up smoke (something visible) within, and visualize it coming out with every exhale.
5. Exercise to bring release, peace and inner strength. At least take brisk walks 3 times a week.
6. Eat well, take a multivitamin (adding extra C and B vitamins help when stressed) and get enough sleep (melatonin is a natural supplement that helps, if need be). The state of your body impacts your mind’s ability to rest as well.

Spend Time With Your Children

One of the best things that parents can do to reduce their child’s stress level is spend quality time with him. Quality time helps strengthen the bond between the parent and the child. If a child has a good relationship with his parents, he will be more likely to talk to him when he is feeling overwhelmed. Taking family bike rides and playing games are just two of the many ways that parents can spend more time with their children.

Do Not Over Schedule

It is great for a child to be involved in activities outside of school because they help them make friends and build important life skills. However, many parents make the mistake of allowing their child to participate in too many activities. Over scheduling is a major source of stress. It is very important for parents to make sure that your child gets enough down time for fun and relaxation.

Make Sure That Basis Needs are Taken Care of

This might seem like a given, but children who do not eat a well-balanced diet, exercise or get the proper amount of rest are much more likely to experience stress. That is why parents should make sure that all of their child’s basic needs are taken care of.

Learn How to Take Care of Your Own Stress

The interesting thing about children is that they learn by example. They might not always do what their parents say, but they watch carefully and do what their parents do. Parents who know how to manage their own stress will be able to raise children who know how to deal with it. Drawing, walking and listening to music are just a few of the many stress-relieving activities that parents and children can do together.

iTherapyRX, an online therapy service, offers a variety of stress reduction tips. Schedule an appointment today and have an iTherapyRX counselor help you discuss stress management.

It can be very tough to watch while someone you care about is in trouble. Whether it is a problem situation or relationship, an addiction, or a poor emotional state (to name just a few), it’s a sad thing to watch a loved one suffer. Many of us dwell so much on this problem and what we can do about it, that we feel overburdened and exhausted.

Needless to say, this is not a healthy place for us to be. But how can we be of help to someone we care for and still take care of ourselves? Here are some tips for us to consider that help us on the journey.

1. Prioritize YOUR wellbeing

No matter how much we care for someone, we still must be the priority. We cannot forget how important we are as individuals, and that we deserve at least the same amount of concern and care that we try to show others. We can focus on caring for ourselves because we have a right to that. And then we are more able to help in proper ways, as well.

2. This person is not your responsibility

It is easy to start feeling like this person is your responsibility, but you must remind yourself that they alone, are responsible for themselves. You cannot control their thoughts or actions, and that is okay. After all, if someone is to really learn to change they must learn it for themselves.

3. You can make suggestions, then let it go

When we give advice to someone we may feel tempted to make sure they follow through. But it is not our job to make them follow through. Offer advice and/or support, which is a great way to really help, and then leave it to them.

4. Pray for them

Thankfully, there is a greater power available than what we see in front of us. While there is only so much that a loved one is able to listen and think/behave differently, God is able to influence people on the inside in miraculous ways. Pray for your loved ones and believe God can do what you cannot. In fact, He desires to bring health to His people even more than we desire it for them.

5. Don’t get caught up in the details

While a person is on their own journey of struggle there can be so many ups and downs. Following along emotionally every step of the way can be too much. Have hope that in the end it will be okay, and cling to that vision. Realize that the details on the way don’t matter. And if you need to shelter yourself from too much contact with this person right now, feel free to do that.

6. Remember to have hope!

There are so many people who have been changed, so many situations that have been turned right side up, that we can all have hope. Sometimes it is even only in the struggle of pain that someone will be able to see clearly and change. Think of (or look online) those who have been changed and healed. Think of those times you have already seen that show this person or situation can become more. Look for those little signs that show you there is something more to come. And don’t ever be afraid to keep believing.

By Jade Mazarin, M.A., BCCC | Christian Counselor

1. Praising God’s Beauty

God is a holy, unbelievably loving, perfectly wise and infinitely strong Lord. He deserves our praise, and He loves to hear our adoration. During praise we acknowledge and focus on the beauty of God. We thank Him for who He is, and we thank Him for specific things He has done in our personal lives. We meditate on His wonders and we breathe in His joyful Spirit. We can also consider the specific promises He has made to us, and thank Him that He has already accomplished them (even if they haven’t been physically manifested yet). I know He must smile on us in a special way, during these times with Him.

And there are times when something special happens to us as we praise God. We feel more joy in our inner being, and perhaps we open the door to a new move of God in our lives. When trying to take over Jericho, the Israelites got special instruction on how they would get through the enormous wall that surrounded the city. They were told to march around it six days and on the seventh day, they were meant simply to praise God for giving them the city (though technically they hadn’t gotten it yet). When they did these things, it worked. On the seventh day the wall fell while they were praising God (Joshua 6:1-27).

We may have tried everything else, but let us not forget to honor God and to invite His beauty into ourselves; sometimes it is here that new things take place.

2. Communing in Silence

Our minds are often going a hundred miles per minute. We are accustomed to running from one task to another. When we go to God, perhaps we only spill out all of our thoughts, make petition for our needs, and then run off to the next thing. But besides talking, we can also learn to quiet ourselves and connect with God in a deep way that sometimes can only occur in the silence and stillness. Though it can be difficult, especially if we are not used to it, taking a breather and making ourselves still is a wonderful habit to cultivate. Even if we are taking just a couple minutes in the morning, it can create a calm that travels with us. And with practice, we can increase the amount of time in silence and the degree of peace within. We can think of His surrounding love and gentleness, His presence and tender power. Breathe it in with deep breaths, and let everything else fade into the background, as we remember that none of our stresses are as big and intimidating as they feel.

I know from personal experience that the quiet times are hard to get used to at first, but after a bit it becomes a rich place of feeling God and being equipped for the day (I like to do it in the morning). This is also a place for God’s voice. Perhaps He will make something known that we can only perceive in the silence. Or perhaps we will be made ready to hear it later.

There is also a silence that we can enter when we want to commune with God, and we are tired of using words or we don’t know what to say exactly. I remember times when I just fell on my knees and stayed there for quite a while, considering that God knew exactly what I was feeling, and He knew what I needed. I considered giving my heart to Him; showing my need for Him. And I knew He felt with me in that deep place, exactly what I was feeling, while giving me His heart as well. It was a wonderful, inner experience of sharing my soul with my Father and Counselor.

3. Surrendering to God’s will

There are times when we have been resistant to God, and we are invited again to surrender. In these moments we can make the choice to follow our limited view or God’s greater one. And it is a matter of how much we trust that He is loving enough to be trusted, and powerful enough to take care of us. It is in these moments we can, with the help of God, acknowledge that we are not Lord of our lives and that God is great enough to deserve our following Him. We also remind ourselves that God’s will is always what we will be happy about in the end; what is really good and brings joy. And we ask for the help to believe that truth.

There are also prayers we make when we are searching for what to do. Perhaps we are interviewing for a few jobs and we need to know what God wants for us. We ask for God to show us His plan and for His will to be done. There are also those times when we want a certain job, for example, but we are not sure if God also wants it for us. In times like these we can be honest and say, “Lord, I would really like this job. If it is your will, please make sure it happens for me. But if it is not your will, may you bring me something better instead.”

4. Being Bold with what’s Right

Often we don’t realize how bold we can be with God. What I mean here specifically, is we may not truly consider the fact that Jesus lives in us, and is meant to pray through us; claiming what is right to take place on this earth.

There are certain matters that we need not ask about being the will of God. If we know the Bible and God’s character, we can have certain expectations about what He would want. For example, we can know that God wants all men to discover Him and be saved by Christ. When we are praying for someone in this way, we can tell God that it must take place. Take another example, we know God wants to bring peace to those who have anxiety. We can pray with strength for that person to receive the peace of the Holy Spirit. We use the authority of the Holy Spirit in us, to be serious with God and to fight for this person. In the spiritual realm, there are times we must be strong and take a real stance for a needed change. There is real power when we do that.

Of course, on many matters we must quiet ourselves and ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit so we can really know if God wants us to pray boldly for certain, more specific matters to take place. We must be careful that we are not speaking out of our own thinking and our need for control. But if we are self aware, we can notice these things. And fortunately, we need not be perfect in our feelings or approach because God refines our prayers and answers them in a way that is good and perfect.

5. Longing for Your Father

While the above makes us feel like we are partners with God to create change in this world, there are other times we must simply experience the comfort of our tender Father. It is here in His arms, that we can find rest when we are in turmoil, by asking with our hearts until it comes. It is here that we can admit our fears and know we are safe to be understood, and to be met in our need.

There are times I have admitted my desire to trust God and my difficulty in doing it. I feel able to be vulnerable, knowing He sees it in me and He understands. There have been other times when I am longing for a touch of comfort and/or hope, and I am not getting it anywhere else. Have you ever been there? You share your heart with another person, for example, and they say something that only makes you feel worse?

I remember a specific moment like that, during my severe depression, when I reached out and was only more hurt after sharing. I was quickly reminded in that moment that God is the only One who knows exactly what I need right now. And He is the only one whose heart feels for mine in this moment, the way I long for. So, I literally hung up the phone after talking with this person, and I turned all of my focus to God. I cried out in pain and I called, “Daddy!” Over and over. And I began to feel His gentleness, His care, His compassion. And He calmed me in His arms. That is the safety of our Perfect Father.

……………………….

After we make all sorts of prayers, however we feel led at the time, we can rest; “Be still and know He is God.” (Psalm 46″10). We can remember that He hears every word, takes seriously every heart request, and promises to answer what we ask in His will (1 John 5:14-15). After our petitions, it is time to leave it up to Him to do the hard stuff; knowing He is trustworthy to do it. Remember that He is a truly loving and powerful God.

By Jade Mazarin, M.A., BCCC | Christian Counselor

To enhance good health, take a break and grab your family or a few friends and head outdoors. Participating in outdoor activities such as throwing a Frisbee, shooting a basketball or playing  tag allows your body to burn calories and develop muscle strength. You may need to get creative if it’s winter, but just think of that as a fun challenge. Perhaps you could take up roller skating as a team or power walk together in the mall. What you do isn’t nearly as important as the fact that you are doing something, being active to either maintain or loose weight by incorporating weight management.

As long as it isn’t below zero outside, winter offers the perfect opportunity to get out and try some new things. You may be surprised at how much you enjoy cross-country or downhill skiing, snowshoeing and ice skating if you have never tried any of them. Fresh air, even when it’s cold, is good for your heart and lungs.

If you’ve noticed that even the kids are getting a bit lazy or round in the middle section, look for ways to incorporate fun activity into everyone’s lives. Plan to enlist their help as you set up an obstacle course either indoors or outside, weather permitting. Let your imagination run wild as you look for things to jump over and skip past on your obstacle course. It could be anything from old bicycle tires to sturdy boxes to having to stop and jump rope. You will get the most benefit from your obstacle course if it includes a variety of body motions such as hopping, bending and stretching.

Perhaps the years have caught up to you and you’re now more out of shape than ever. Rather than beat yourself up for past mistakes, vow to make today a new day and incorporate physical activity into your life slowly. At first, you may not be able to handle more than a few minutes of brisk walking, but if you stick to it, eventually being physically active will be a permanent part of your life. But, if your stuck in the same old workout routine or abandon working out all together, iTherapyRX offers personal training counseling. Schedule an appointment and have an iTherapyRX trainer help help you determine your fitness level.

He kept yelling, “This one?”, and other voices answered, “No, bigger!”. After the third “This one?”, he was answered with “Yes that is it!”. After a few seconds I heard a dull thud and my son yell out in pain like I had never heard him yell before. I ran to the backyard to find him sitting in the grass with a huge bump growing on his forehead. Beside him was a big rock weighing about five pounds and as big as half his head. When I heard a chorus of “Are you O.K.?” from the second floor of my house and saw my three daughters hanging out a screenless second story window, I began to piece together what had happened. I asked my son for the details and he went on to say that they needed a big rock for the game they were playing upstairs, so he went outside to get one.

The rock was muddy and he did not want to carry it through the house and up the stairs so the girls removed the screen so he could throw it through the window and not break the glass. He went on to explain when he threw the rock his hand slipped and it did not make it to the window. He was watching the rock go up, was frozen and could not move so the rock came back down and hit him in the head. After some ice and a lot of TLC he was back playing with his sisters and I was struck with amazement about the situation. My son had no doubt in his mind that he could get that rock through that second story window. Nothing was impossible for his little mind or body. I began to think about all the big rocks that I wanted to throw and how I want to learn from his little example. I just hope age and life experience have improved my dodging skills if my rocks come back down.

Family counseling is a way to create better relationships and understanding within a family. At itherapyrx.com we offer online family counseling for those dealing with issues or needing tips for a healthy environment.  Please contact our online counselor to help you on the path to wellness.

By Reverend Lee Barnes – Youth & Family Counseler

Medications and therapy make up the bulk of these treatments, but light therapy is an alternate treatment that specifically helps SAD sufferers. Combating SAD may require multiple types of treatment, depending on the person.  iTherapyRX, an online therapy service, offers multiple types of treatment to ensure a convenient and effective way of counseling from the privacy of your own home or office.

Medication for SAD is usually the same as what is used to treat depression. However, a doctor may recommend lower dosages during months where SAD does not affect the patient, or no medication at all during these times. Antidepressants are usually prescribed, though certain other psychiatric medications may be prescribed if the patient does not respond to antidepressants. There is one FDA-approved antidepressant specifically for treatment of SAD symptoms. The drug is called bupropian and it is an extended release medication that sells under the brand Wellbutrin XL. Other antidepressants that may be prescribed include paroxetine, serraline, fluoxetine and venlafaxine.

Psychotherapy is another depression-related treatment that attempts to deal with SAD symptoms, either without the use of medication or alongside it. Psychotherapy is used to help the patient see how internal negativity is affecting their mood and feeling of well-being. By revealing those negative feelings, the patient is then encouraged to change such thoughts to more positive ones. Psychotherapy is usually best used in conjunction with a medication treatment.

Light therapy is one of the treatments that is most specific to SAD sufferers. Many SAD sufferers report that lack of sunlight is primarily what affects their moods during the winter months. Thus, exposure to an artificial light source, especially one meant to mimic natural light, can cause a biochemical change in the brain. The reaction is similar to what the reaction would be with natural light and should result in an alleviation of SAD symptoms. SAD sufferers may use a light box, or a special box filled with artificial light, which they then place near them to help lift their mood.

Despite the effectiveness of light therapy on many patients, it has not yet been approved by the FDA, nor has any concrete evidence been found that it can successfully treat SAD apart from other medication.

If you or someone you know may be suffering from depression, caused by SAD, please schedule an appointment with an iTherapyRX counselor to discuss your concerns.

To my surprise, it did not call me to look at my faith but to look at how I parent my children. Feinberg explains for the first three years the young vines are pruned back until they can grow strong on their own and their grapes are not tested to use for wine until the vine is seven years old. What patience the vineyard owner has! Too many times I have worried with my head in my hands looking at one of my young children wondering what will become of them when a true vineyard owner has more faith in a plant. Patience, self control,… and all the fruits of the Spirit are required in growing a vineyard and in parenting. The most startling revelation that I had while reading her story is that starting a “boutique” vineyard is a big gamble. There is no hope in making a profit for at least twenty years. You have to hold on to your faith in what you are doing, that your technique and skills will keep growing, and that when a problem arises you seek out the right help. I see this gamble also in parenting children of all ages.

We have to hold fast to what we believe and impart that to our children in a way that they will understand. We have to look at our skill set and see where we do things well and look at our deficiencies honestly so we will seek new skills when needed. Lastly we have to know when we need the help of others and reach out and get the help we, our children, or our families need. With that help, we are able to grow into a strong vine that produces a great harvest.

If you are interested in finding out about spiritual online counseling through itherapyrx.com please contact our online counselor.